The Last Laugh of Konoha
by Scarecrow'sMainFan
Summary: They say that a single bad day can drive a man mad. One by one the people of Konoha will be presented with a choice, descend into beautiful madness; or rise above it to become an icon of justice. These are their stories...
1. Make'em Laugh

_**Hello everyone, how are you? We gather here to witness the birth of what will hopefully be another great story. This is my Naruto Batman crossover, something I've wanted to do for a long time. I was inspired by a great story called NU: The Killing Joke, that had Naruto and several other become various Batman heroes or villains. However, that story hasn't been updated in years, so I figured 'why not make my own'. And thus, this story was born. Now let's begin, shall we, with... **_

_**Chapter 1: Make'em laugh**  
_

_-Make'em Laugh-_

Laughter. It is a driving force in the universe. Whether they be good or bad, young or old; everyone, at one point or another, has experienced laughter, directly or not. For some it was a positive thing, or others, not so much. Laughter has the power to bring people together. Laughter has the power to drag people down into madness.

For one young Naruto Uzumaki, laughter in the positive sense was an alien concept. He knew what laughter was, and had seen other people partake in it. Yet he himself had never had anything to laugh at. That was not surprising though, given his situation. Forced from the orphanage onto the streets years before, he had recently moved into a shitty, rundown apartment; where the water hardly ever ran, and when it did; it was cold. He often didn't have much in the way of food, and vendors tended to charge him exorbitant amounts for the barest necessities.

The old man, who said Naruto could call him gramps if he wanted, tried his best to fix things for him, but he wasn't around much.

Children tended to avoid him, often on the advice of their parents. This meant that he didn't get much human contact, and when he did, it was generally not very pleasant. The older children who picked on him would often laugh at him, and even though they thought they couldn't see him, Naruto knew the adults were laughing at him too.

The first time Naruto could remember really, really laughing was when he was running from a particularly unpleasant bully. The act of running wasn't what he found funny, it was what happened **while **running. Naruto had the common sense to hop over the puddle on the road, knowing it would likely slow him down. The bully did not, and had slipped, tumbling head over heels, and landed in a pile of garbage. Naruto had laughed at the bully's misfortune until his sides had ached, and he had noticed in the corner of his eye that others had snickered at the boy's misfortune as well.

So did that mean… laughter was brought about by the suffering of others? People taking pleasure at discomfort that was not their own? Naruto had been shocked by this revelation; that something that sounded so wonderful could be brought about in such a manner. This would require further testing…

_-Make'em Laugh-_

The old man had not agreed with his theory when he had brought it too him. The old man told him that suffering was not something that was funny. When Naruto asked then, why the people had laughed at the boy in the garbage, or laughed when the older children beat him, the old man didn't seem to have an answer. After stumbling over his words for a while, he just sternly told him that the misfortune of others was not funny.

When Naruto asked him what **was **funny, the old man had scratched his beard and puffed his pipe for a while before answering. He said that everyone's sense of what was funny was different, but that most of the time jokes were a good way to get a good laugh. He had told Naruto some jokes he knew, and Naruto would admit, some of them were funny…

And yet he still felt his initial theory was correct. If the misfortune of others wasn't meant to be funny, then people wouldn't laugh at it. And yet they did! Maybe jokes were funny to, but for a different reason. But if that would mean there was a different type of humor out there. One type of humor devoid of suffering, the other exclusively made up of bad things happening to people. But that made no sense… why would it work that way? If another type of laughter existed, one not dependent on the sadness of others, then why would they still laugh when he fell, when he hurt…

He had to know…

_-Make'em Laugh-_

Naruto frowned as he peaked out from around the corner. It had been years since he had decided he would discover the truth behind laughter, and he had learned a lot.

Jokes. They came in many forms and were oddly subjective. Whenever he told a joke to an adult in the village, they would often scowl at him, yell at him, or chase him off. If he told the same joke to someone younger then him, often he would get a laugh… unless their parent was nearby, in which case he would be chased off again. He would have written this off as different tastes in humor, but he had seen the same joke told to people who had yelled at him by others, only to see it get a positive reaction.

So clearly, there was something about him. Something that drove people to anger, not laughter (unless he was in pain) when he was around. But what? He had tried asking the old man, but he never got a straight answer; only that he 'shouldn't hold it against them' and 'hopefully he could prove them wrong'. But frankly he had to disagree strongly! Why shouldn't he hold the fact that the people of the village seemed to actively hate him and desire his suffering against them? Why shouldn't he treat them as they treated him. Which is what lead him to practical jokes.

These had quickly become his favorite. Often, they had just the right amount of humiliation to be funny, but not enough to draw sympathy, which he discovered through trial and error. He also discovered, that if he didn't announce he had done it, people were more likely to laugh at it. Another odd thing to add to the list of odd things people did around him. Still… he liked it when lots of people were laughing. Even if it was at him, the sound of a multitude of laughter was better then any solo laugh. The years of study had made laughter a sweet music to his ears, and he longed for it, by any means necessary. Not to surprising, as laughter was often associated with happiness, and after all the things that had gone rotten in his life, a little happiness shouldn't be too much to ask.

_-Make'em Laugh-_

His progress had slowed down somewhat after he joined the Ninja Academy at the old man's request, but it worked to his benefit regardless. If he became a ninja, he could travel the world and study laughter abroad, and see if what was true of Konoha was true elsewhere. He had gotten to meet many new interesting people, most of whom were oddly ambivalent to him. That was just the students though, the teachers were all adults, and as such hated him immediately before meeting him.

That question still plagued Naruto: Why was he so hated? It was like everyone knew the secret except for him! Like there was a great big magnificent joke out there, and he wasn't apart of it! How was that possible? How could such a secret be kept? It must have taken amazing planning to cook up such a scheme… but who could make such a plan… why make that plan? Why plan on his suffering exclusively? Or was it exclusive? Maybe he wasn't seeing the whole picture yet! Maybe the plan, if there was one, didn't just extend to him, but to others as well...

His training as a ninja did open up new exciting avenues for creating laughter! The skills taught made pranking the villagers all the easier. Sadly, he had gained a bit of a reputation as a prankster, so most people knew right away it was him. This meant that he had had to learn the value of laughing by himself, as the villagers laughed less and less at his pranks. That was fine though, he had just had to go bigger! He would make them laugh, if it was the last thing he did!

The old man had expressed disapproval of his pranks on the people and the village. He said it wasn't right to do what he did. Naruto mostly just ignored him now. After all, if there was a secret revolving around him (and he was quite sure there was), then the old man must know about it and was simply not telling him! Well fine, be that way old man! See if he cared!

That was another useful skill he had learned at the Academy. He had learned to mask his true feelings at the world around him. He refused to let the rest of them see him unhappy! He had learned to smile constantly, quietly remembering past jokes to keep up the smile. He knew the people would see him as a fool for always smiling, but he didn't care. People would let 'the fool' see everything, and never once worry about the repercussions…

_-Make'em Laugh-_

Naruto sat on his apartment floor, shaking. He had finally gotten it. The answer he had been looking for all these years… and now that he'd gotten it, he didn't know what to do.

A demon… an honest to god demon? That was the reason he was so despised? Because the fourth had stuck a demon in him all those years ago, and none of villagers had gotten over it in the following fourteen years? Seriously? What kind of ridiculously bad joke was that?

And the worst part was they all knew about it! Even the old man, and the family at the Ramen Shack… who always claimed to be his friend knew, and never once told him! It was like they had planned it!

Of course! A plan! It all made sense! There was a plan, just like he had thought so long ago… it connected everything in the village after all! What else was it responsible for? How deep did it go? How far? This would require further examination… looks like he wasn't done playing the goofball just yet!

Tomorrow he was meeting his teammates and sensei, and then they would go on missions to the outside world. Naruto had to wonder, even if somewhat fearfully, what the outside world was like. Was it just like Konoha? Was it better? Worse? He had to know!

_-Make'em Laugh-_

Naruto was almost positive now; that his life was nothing but a bizarre plot written by a semi-talented hack! What were the odds that in a class of nearly thirty people, he would get the two people that hated his guts the most?

Sasuke Uchiha… what a dick. He had never once smiled at any of the pranks Naruto had pulled over the years, and that made him the only one! But what really chafed Naruto was the fact that the guy had people falling over themselves to please him, and he didn't care! He obviously didn't realize how fortunate he was, to fit into the plan the way he did. His role in the plan: to be beloved by the commoners of the village, to allow them to cling to the legacy of the mighty Uchiha… the least he could do is be grateful for it.

Sakura Haruno… was pathetic. Her only redeeming quality was that she made Naruto laugh. Not because of her talent or skills (lord knows she had none). And it wasn't her personality (HahahHahaHa! What personality?). No, like a tiny yipping dog, barking at a dog three times its size, Sakura got points for sheer ballsy attitude despite being a complete and utter waste of a human being.

Despite his annoyance, Naruto couldn't help but smile (come to think of it… he was having a lot of trouble **not **smiling recently… maybe those rumors about faces freezing were true!) whenever he was around those two. The privileged youth who was mad at the world, and the pink haired lass with attitude despite being weaker then wet cardboard. It was like some sort of really, really, bad joke! And when mixed with himself, the most hated boy in the Leaf Village, they were perhaps the worst joke of all time! And that wasn't even getting into their weird, one-eyed sensei who apparently didn't own a watch!

And yet the more he thought about it, the funnier it seemed! He knew he was angry at the situation, but he couldn't stop smiling. In fact, the whole thing; Sakura, Sasuke, and the upcoming test with sensei tomorrow… why couldn't he stop laughing!

_-Make'em Laugh-_

Naruto heaved a sigh as the gates came into view. The trip to wave had been… nice. Really nice actually. It wasn't like Konoha at all! The people there were nice, if somewhat depressed given their economic state, and they treated him with respect and even admiration!

Sadly, it all ended to soon, and now as he approached the gates of the Leaf, he was filled with even more confusing thoughts. Clearly the rest of the world was not like Konoha, so why bother to stay? What was the point in living in a place that was so unhappy?

_"Because I can bring the laughter" _replied the voice in the back of his mind. It had been getting louder ever since he had seen Haku on the bridge. Ever since, it spouted off a stream of terrible ideas and ridiculous puns, making focusing on the rest of the world very difficult. He had been able to keep the voice somewhat quiet, by documenting his thought in a secret journal. It was there that he wrote the full extent of his thoughts. Everything from his belief on the connection between suffering and laughter, to his belief in the cosmic plan that sought to make him hurt for a higher purpose. Naruto wondered what would happen if someone ever read this… would they be frightened? Would they think him insane (though really, wasn't he)? Or would they too see the funny side as he did, and revel in the bad joke that was the world? He didn't know… perhaps he never would.

Of course, his team was as silent as ever. Sasuke had suffered a near death experience, making the boy-prince contemplate what he had done with his life. Naruto thought it would have been hilarious had Sasuke defied all the villagers expectations of him… and died a nobody on some god forsaken bridge.

Sakura was quiet because she had apparently come to the shocking (to no one but her) realization that she was completely useless in all situations.

Sensei was as quiet as always. For someone who was supposed to teach them about being a ninja, he didn't do much besides spout pseudo-wisdom and read porn.

And now he was back home, oh how he missed the glares of **his people**. What would they do without him around? Where would they deflect their hatred and self-loathing? Who would make them smile?

How odd that in two different villages he could be the freaking messiah, yet get such completely opposite reactions! Oh if the people of Konoha saw how the Wave villagers treated him, the looks on their faces would be priceless!

The rest of team seven and some of the surrounding villagers looked on as Naruto threw back his head and laughed long and loud and clear. But the laugher was not normal. It was too loud, too strong, and… very freaky.

"Naruto!" Sakura growled, not liking the looks the passing villagers were giving them "What the hell is so funny?" she demanded.

Naruto whipped around to look at her, his normal smile stretched across his face, looking for a moment rather painful "Why wouldn't I be laughing Sakura? It's great to be home!" he declared, throwing his arms out wide "Don't you see how much all the lovely people have missed me?" he spun around on his heel looking at the villagers with a smile even as they looked at him with disgust.

Oh, this town…. what a joke.

Kakashi and Sasuke raised an eyebrow simultaneously. Something told them they should **really **keep an eye on Naruto in the future.

_-Make'em Laugh-_

Naruto lay in his bed, staring up at the ceiling, just thinking. He had to get up soon, he knew, to go take the first part of the Chunin exams; but for now he was just content. He had met a boy the other day, who looked like a raccoon… something was off about him in a way that was hard to describe. The way his siblings feared him, was not unlike the way people in the village felt about him (though they tended to stick with hate, not fear). It made him wonder, was the boy like him? Could it be that someone had pulled the same sick joke on that boy that had been done to him? If so, then it gave credence to his idea that somehow the sealing of the tailed beasts was part of some plan. After all, what were the odds that two containers would be partaking in the same test? No, something big was gonna go down, but what? He was usually so good at reading the plan; at figuring out the punchline to the joke, but this time it eluded him.

And sadly, it always would.

With a crash, Naruto heard the door to shitty apartment get kicked in, just before a ball was tossed into his room. Before he could so much as yell, the ball exploded into a sickly yellow gas, which he ended up inhaling. Immediately the world started going fuzzy, and he saw two blurry shapes make their way into his room. He tried to use his chakra to form clones, but even with the Kyubi burning the knock out gas from his system, he was still too slow. A haymaker to the side of his head sent him slamming into his wall, and a follow up punch knocked him right out.

_-Make'em Laugh-_

Sakura stomped towards her destination, the aura of anger pouring off her scaring away any civilians that might have wished her good day. That was fine, she was a girl on a mission. Today was supposed to be an important day! Today was the day she and her team were **supposed ** to take the chunin exams! It had taken her forever to work up the courage to enter the exams, and yet, if one were to look, they would notice a distinct LACK of her TAKING the EXAMS!

All because her stupid, blonde headed, orange jumpsuit wearing IDIOT of a teammate hadn't show up! And according to Kakashi-sensei, if they weren't all together, they couldn't take the test!

So why wasn't Naruto there today?

That was the million ryo question, and one she planned to get an answer to. Sasuke and Kakashi were just as confused as she was. They had all figured if anyone would show up for the exam, it would be Naruto. The fact that he didn't was cause for concern. Don't get her wrong, Sakura was worried too, but she was still a little cheesed off. So Naruto had better have a damn good reason for not being at the exams!

Thankfully Kakashi had known where Naruto lived. Sakura felt kind of… well, let's just say the place where Naruto lived didn't seem like a pleasant place to live. Walking up the creaky steps to his apartment, Sakura felt that she had made a mistake. She had the floor right, and she saw the number on the wall. But… Sakura felt her heartbeat speed up as she saw the kicked down door and the torn up room. Peaking inside, her heart froze up when she saw the picture on the mantel (one of only two, she noticed): It was a picture of Team Seven. No doubt, this was Naruto's apartment, and judging by the state of things, something serious had gone down.

Immediately fleeing the scene, Sakura ran as fast as she could for Kakashi-sensei. If anyone would know what to do, it would be him.

Finally, she spotted her teacher and Sasuke talking to the owners of the Ramen stand Naruto was partial too. Frantically she called out to them "Kakashi-sensei! Sasuke! Something's happened to Naruto!"

That got their attention. She quickly explained the situation, how she had found Naruto's apartment in disarray, with clear signs of a struggle. She also noted that while the ramen girl seemed to get more and more distressed by the tale, passing civilians would only seem to smirk to themselves and go about their day.

One person did take notice though. Konahamaru had only heard by chance, but he sure as hell listened. Turning, he ran as fast as his little legs would carry him; not only to look for his boss and rival, but to also tell anyone he thought would listen to help him.

The first person he could really get to listen to him was his teacher, Ebisu. While the closet pervert may have held no great love for the Kyubi vessel in the past, the inspiration he had given his student had more then warranted his support, especially in such a dire circumstance.

Ebisu of course went and told the other genin sensei that were nearby, waiting while their own students prepared to take the chunin exams. All of them knew Naruto of course, (Kurenai knew of Hinata's crush, and Asuma knew that Shikamaru and Choji had been his friends) and so they were quick to help. Gai sensei would never allow something so unyouthful to happen on his watch, so he was in as well.

The other person to take Konohamaru seriously was his grandfather the Third Hokage. When he heard what had happened he was positively livid and quickly dashed out of the room, as did a big white haired guy with red lines under his eyes. Naruto's old teacher Iruka Umino was there too, and was just as eager to help his 'little brother'.

And so it went, even as this rag tag group searched for Naruto, Kakashi summoned Pakkun to locate his wayward student. The little dog immediately got to work, using the scent from the Ramen stand to start looking for the boy. Kakashi and the rest of Team 7 could only hope that they found him before something bad happened.

**Elsewhere: **

Naruto didn't know where he was, but he could make a very good case for it being hell. Every since he'd woken up here, the pain hadn't stopped coming. He'd been beaten, burned, stabbed, and choked until he nearly blacked out.

Wherever he was, it stank of chemicals and rust. It was dark, but that may have just been his eyes which kept swelling shut from the blows rained down on him, and again when his healing factor kicked in and fixed them.

What Naruto didn't know was that he was on a platform overlooking several vats of highly toxic chemicals. This place had once been used by Konoha to create new weaponry, but had been shut down due to unsafe working conditions. Most of the equipment had been removed, but the chemicals remained until the Hokage and the council could agree on what to do with it (which essentially meant forever).

Inside, about a dozen disgruntled chunin and one jounin took turns torturing the boy. The leader of this group, Imochi, was a genjutsu specialist, and was now subjecting Naruto to a borderline forbidden technique that was only meant to be used on prisoners of war to interrogate them. The technique worked by interacting with the pain receptors in the brain, and causing all the nerves of the body to experience pain at once, for as long as the user held the technique. The reason for its status as a semi-kinjutsu was due to the fact that the brain can only take so much pain before the victim's mind broke under the strain and went mad.

Imochi smirked as he looked down at the boy, his eyes pinpricks as his face twitched and spasmed. Even if the kid lived, which he wouldn't, Imochi didn't think he'd ever be able to function again. But that wasn't going to be a problem for the kid soon.

They'd already had him for too long. Even if no one came looking for the kid (and really, who would look for this monster), he and his gang all had a celebration to get too. Imochi reached into his pocket, a motion that caught the eye of everyone else in the room (even the demon, strangely enough, the boy shouldn't be able to focus on anything now… ), and brought out a long, sharp, dagger.

Naruto struggled at the sight of the knife, but the chains binding him to the platform were too strong. Imochi stepped on Naruto's chest, pushing down on it as his buddies came close. "You had a lot of nerve, you know? Strutting around the village, after what you did. Always laughing at us, making us miserable… always Smilin'!" he took the sharpened blade, which glistened oddly in the strange light of the chemical plant and placed it close to Naruto's face. "You smiled… we suffered. Doesn't seem fair now does it?" he asked rhetorically "But you ain't smilin' now are you, freak?" he grinned, and his buddies grinned around him. This was it, it was almost time to kill the demon, and become famous heros of the Leaf!

Naruto squirmed as the blade was placed in his mouth. Imochi looked in the demons eye… it looked so frightened, almost like it was human. Imochi smirked, he would not be fooled.

"Lighten up kid" he said, giving a dark chuckle

"Why so serious?" he gripped Naruto's throat, so he couldn't turn his head to escape what was coming.

"Let's put a smile on that face!"

_-Make'em Laugh-_

Outside the plant, the ragtag team that was searching for Naruto finally arrived, lead by Pakkun. The Hokage hadn't arrived yet, as he had stopped to assemble an ANBU team to help. Before they could come up with a plan of attack like the Jounin wanted, a horrible scream ripped through the air.

That was all Sasuke and Sakura needed to bolt before their sensei could stop them. Not like he would, he was right behind them.

_-Make'em Laugh-_

Imochi looked up from his work as the window shattered and Sharingan Kakashi, along with two kids crashed through. He saw his boys move to handle it, which left him to finish up.

Just as he finished making the left side of the face match the right, the rest of the Jounin had come in, and Imochi started to get a feeling that things weren't going as well as he had thought.

"You're lucky, little demon." he said to Naruto, hauling him to his feet. "I'm afraid we have to cut our play time short." he hefted Naruto up, intending to dispose of the body by hurling it into the vat of toxic chemicals below.

Sasuke saw him, immediately zoning in on Naruto's torn and bloody orange jumpsuit. Seeing what Imochi was planning to do, he exhaled a stream of fire that struck the man in the back. Imochi screamed and flailed, trying to put out the flames. However, he did managed to push Naruto over the safety rail before he did.

"NARUTO!" Sasuke & Sakura screamed as they watched their teammate fall towards the vat of chemicals. Surprisingly, he landed on his feet, managing to stay balanced on the chemical by subconsciously channeling chakra to his feet. Unfortunately, his inexperience meant that if he took a single step in any direction, he was likely to sink like a stone.

"Hold on Naruto, we're coming!" Sakura said, looking for someway to get to them. Their efforts were interrupted though, by a strange coughing sound. The source of the sound was quickly revealed to be coming from Naruto himself. From the way he was shaking though, it became clear he wasn't coughing; he was laughing.

"Come on guys!" he laughed, ignoring their horrified faces "Why so serious?" he asked, before he burst out laughing again. He was shaking so badly from laughter that he was starting to slowly sink into the chemical bath beneath him.

**In Naruto's Mindscape: **

The Kyubi looked around worriedly in its cage. The walls around its cell had cracked terribly, and a strange, foul green liquid was filling the room. He was doing his best to heal the damage to his container, but healing the mind was much tricker then healing the flesh. It was all he could do to hold the fools brain together…

**Real world: **

Naruto was up to his knees in toxic chemicals. He was laughing so hard he was practically doubled over. It was very disturbing to everyone watching, even the ones who'd done it to him.

"Naruto… please." Sakura said, her eyes watering. She looked over at Kakashi sensei, but he was still engaged with one of the struggling kidnappers. She was scared by the how pleased the kidnapper looked with what he'd done. How could **anyone** be so cruel? "Please…" she focused her attention on Naruto, who was now wobbling back and forth in the center of a huge vat of unknown chemicals "We're gonna help you… you're not well…"

"HA!" Naruto laughed and snorted "That's where you're wrong!" Naruto said, his eyes widening, the veins in his eyes threatening to pop "I've never felt better in my entire life!" he shouted, and for a moment all was still "I've always wondered…. but now I know! The plan makes sense now!" he rambled, no longer making sense himself "Now I see the funny side…" he looked up, his eyes scanning the room, but seeming so vacant "Now I'll always be smiling." he looked at his teammates, and for a moment, his vision seemed to clear…

"So why aren't you?"

And just like that, he lost focus and plunged through the liquid, disappearing beneath the green waves.

"Naruto!" Sasuke shouted, Sakura right behind him. At that moment, a dozen ANBU burst in, weapons drawn and ordering everyone down on the ground. They took the man Kakashi was holding and their sensei immediately moved to their side to prevent them from throwing themselves in after their teammate and friend. He held them, crying, to his chest, letting them beat their frustration against him, even as tears leaked down his own face.

_"I did it again…" _he thought _"I've failed my team" _

_-Make'em Laugh-_

From there, things happened very fast. The men were dragged out by the ANBU, and forced to kneel before the Hokage. Standing beside him, was the giant Jiraiya, his eyes burning with intense hate that made the criminals wonder how quickly there deaths would come. Still, some weren't as smart as others…

"This is bullshit! You should be rewarding us for killing that demon! He deserved it! He was a monster! He-" He stopped as Jiraiya stepped forward and wrapped his hand around the man's throat.

Turning to Kakashi he asked in a low voice "Is is true… is he really dead." Kakashi didn't answer, but the way he lowered his head was answer enough for the Toad Sage. Nodding gravely to himself, he twisted his wrist and killed the man right there. Sure, it wouldn't bring Naruto back, and maybe it was technically a violation of the man's rights… but frankly Jiraiya just couldn't bring himself to care. His godson, the boy Minato had charged him with looking after… was dead. He had never been there for the boy, he'd always been out maintaing his spy network for the greater good of the village. Greater Good. Those thoughts sickened him now.

Slowly, the large group moved away from the building, none desiring to be near the spot where Konoha's sunshine was snuffed a minute longer. Soon they would all have to deal with what had happened that day, and the ramifications that came with it. Everyone's life had and would be changed because of this… even if they didn't know it yet.

_-Make'em Laugh-_

Back inside, where all was now quiet, a bubble floated to the surface of the chemicals. Then another, and another. Soon the whole vat was alive with bubbles, and sparks red chakra flickered across the surface, before exploding outwards as a figure burst from the green soup. The figure gasped, taking in a deep breath, wide insane eyes spinning around the barren room before he started to pull himself out of the chemical bath. Unseen to even himself, reddish-orange lightning danced around his body, the hellish chakra being the only thing that had kept the boy's body from melting into slag, thanks to one demon fox. However, even the Kyubi knew something was not right. He had saved the body… but there was nothing he could do for the mind.

As he landed on the ground with a hard thud, something on his head fell off, landing with a clang besides him. It was a strip of metal with a strange design on it. He felt he should know what this was, but his head hurt so much he couldn't think straight. Picking it up, he was treated to a shocking reflection:

His hair was a dark green, darker then the chemicals that had dyed it. His face was white as fresh snow, but on a human looked frighteningly unhealthy. But it was his lips that drew his attention. They were the color of freshly spilt blood… but from the corners of his lips, scars curved upwards towards his ears, covering what seemed to be faded whisker marks. The scars were sore to the touch, and didn't look like they'd healed properly.

The man opens his mouth, and lets out only a throaty cough. A cough that extends and becomes a laugh. But not the laughter of the joyful; but instead the laughter of the mad and the damned. And that laughter continued, long and hard, unheard by any of the nearby village. And to that village, this laughter was the first death knell.

**End Chapter1**

**And lo, it came to pass that Naruto Uzumaki would be.. The JOKER!  
**

**I'm happy that I finally got this story out. The only thing I'm not to terribly happy with is that I had to resort to the old 'Naruto is majorly mistreated by the village' cliche. I know it's a great way to get stories like these off the ground, and many authors use them to great effect, so I guess I won't beat myself up over it.  
**

**So what did you think? If you liked it, please say so in a review. If you didn't please feel free to offer some constructive criticism, but please don't flame.  
**

**Next Time:**

_Time passes. We see the results of a tragedy affect the lives of many. Someone will grow up, and ponder the meaning of their life. And another will find that when life holds out on you... sometimes you have to take what you_ want!

**Chapter 2: The Cat and the Claw  
**

**_Until Next Time... _  
**


	2. The Cat and the Claw

___**Hello everyone, and welcome to Chatper 2 of Last Laugh of Konoha. I'm glad to see that this story was well recieved, and many of you have asked for me to continue it. I hope this chapter lives up to your expectations. Since that chapter, I've seen the latest Batman movie. Loved it. Not as much as I liked the second one, but it was definetely better then I was expecting. Now I wonder how long it'll take before a new director tries their hand at making a Batman movie... let the waiting game begin!  
**_

___**Also, remember that other story I said I took inspiration from? **__**NU: The Killing Joke**_? The one that hadn't updated in years? Well, the day after I put out Chapter 1, a new chapter pops up! I KNOW RIGHT? Weird... so, I may just call that a freaky accident, but if a new chapter comes out right after this...  


___** I've got more to say, but I'll leave that for after the chapter, for now, let's dive right in to:  
**_

___****__**Chapter 2: The Cat and the Claw  
**_

_-Cat and the Claw-_

Time passed, and news spread. Within hours, the whole village knew that Naruto Uzumaki, was dead. Murdered.

The reactions were mixed.

Most of the civilians were ecstatic about it; they'd never liked Naruto, and his death brought nothing but sunshine to their day. A good deal of the ninja population was rather pleased too, and was protesting the imprisonment of Naruto's killers. Bastards.

Only those who had known Naruto personally would morn him. However, even that right was being desecrated, by the ever jolly council. They claimed that since their was no body, Naruto should not be allowed to have a grave. The Third Hokage was protesting this, but the civilian council was used to getting its way, by any means necessary. Even if they did eventually lose this battle, they were taking great pleasure in stringing those that would dare morn 'the filthy little demon' along.

Naruto, a demon? Never. Never ever! They were the demons! Taking advantage of other people's pain… she bet they wouldn't like it as much if someone took advantage of them! If someone stole the light from their lives, she bet they wouldn't be laughing then!

**Crack**

Ayame looked down, and blinked in surprise. She'd gotten so wrapped up in her thoughts that she'd cracked another bowl while wiping it. *Sigh* That was the third one this week.

Not like it mattered though… Ayame cast a glance around the silent shop. Almost no one had come in for a bowl of Ramen in weeks. Sadly, over the years they had garnered a reputation as being a store that allowed Naruto entrance without vastly overcharging him. And now, with him gone, their was virtually no one left. A short time after his funeral his teammates had come in for a bowl, as had Naruto's old instructor from the Academy, and even the Hokage. But they didn't come around much anymore… the memories were to painful. The Hokage's grandson and his little friends still showed up… sometimes… but they never really had as much ramen as their 'boss' had.

Ayame sighed… there was no way they were going to make enough to cover the overhead for this month… she sniffed, wiping away a tear. It wasn't fair!

But what could she do about it?

_-Cat and The Claw-_

Sasuke glared at the training post as he struck it again and again. His fists were a bloody mess, and the post was barely standing but he didn't care. His teammate, his friend, and the closest thing he had to family was dead. No matter what Kakashi said, he still felt like he should have done more. He knew, rationally, it wasn't his fault, but that didn't make the pain hurt any less.

With a final kick, Sasuke shattered the post into a million shards. He wasn't ashamed to admit he imagined that it was Naruto's killers he'd just beaten to a pulp. Going back inside, he bandaged his hands and sat down in a recliner and just stewed in his thoughts. It was already late, but despite that fact, he didn't bother turning the lights on. What would be the point? So that he could **see **how empty his large house was? No thanks.

He recalled the memorial service that Naruto's friends had held in his honor. It was a simple ceremony held on top of the Fourth Hokage's head. All the genin teams were there, along with their sensei, as well as various other ninja that knew and respected Naruto (though to Sasuke that number wasn't nearly high enough). The Hokage himself was there, as were the people who ran that Ramen restaurant Naruto loved so much.

The ceremony could not officially be called a funeral, thanks to those bastards on the council. They were still fighting tooth and nail to keep Naruto from getting the burial he deserved.

Sasuke was only thankful that at least they hadn't been able to set the bastards who'd killed his friend free. Right now every one of them was sitting in a tiny little cell, guarded by the greatest swordsman in the village, his wife, and about a dozen others; until they died of old age, or the Hokage decided to execute them. At least, in this respect, justice would be served.

Sasuke sighed, rubbing his forehead. It didn't seem like enough. He was starting to realize that the village was full of evil, and that more people then just his brother needed to be brought to justice. And yet time and time again the system was failing the victims. The corruption that Sasuke was beginning to realize infested his beloved home likely ran deeper then anyone would, or could think possible.

He knew he needed to do **something**, he owed it to Naruto to make the village the best that he could; the kind of place where what happened to the blond would never happen to anyone else.

But what could he do about it?

_-Cat and The Claw-_

A lot can happen over the course of a single year. And for the Hidden Leaf village, quite a few major events took place.

The most major one being that during the third stage of the chunin exams when a massive invasion was launched by the little known Sound Village and the former Leaf allies of the Sand village. During the battle it was revealed that Orochimaru was the head of the Sound village, and he engaged the Third Hokage in battle atop the roof of the Chunin Exam Finals Stadium. At the same time, a Sand ninja, later identified as the son of the Kazekage transformed into the one tailed beast and began rampaging across the village. He didn't get far though, as Jiraiya of the Sannin was quick to intercept him, summoning the Toad boss for aid.

The results of the war were devastating, destroying a great deal of the civilian sector, and claiming many lives. Jiraiya managed to defeat the demon, knocking out the jinchuuriki, then modifying his seal to prevent the demon from influencing him any further. When asked later why he hadn't simply killed the boy, Jiraiya was silent, though later admitted he couldn't bring himself to cause the death of a jinchuuriki. After all, he had no idea what the boys life had been like… And besides, he was more concerned with getting to the Third Hokage to aid in the battle against the traitorous Snake Sannin.

The battle was quite a show, and many who caught a glimpse of it were likely to never forget it as long as they lived. The Third Hokage, utilizing a forbidden technique last used by the Fourth Hokage, attempted to seal the Snake Sannin's soul away. Sadly, he was only partially successful, severely crippling the would-be immortal, and rendering him armless.

While normally such a technique would have killed the old man, special circumstances applied. Because the Death God had not killed the target, merely injured it, he could not rightfully claim the old man's soul until Orochimaru died, where the Shinigami would take both the Snake's soul, and Sarutobi's. However, partial payment would be enough for now. For the Third Hokage, this meant that soon after ending the jutsu, his body was wracked with an incredible pain, which put him in a coma, one from which the doctors were unsure he would ever recover from. For the moment, his student Jiraiya had been forced into the roll of Hokage, at least until the Third's other student, Tsunade, could be found.

But for one young Ramen cook, that was not the most pressing concern. She was more concerned with how she was going to pay for the repair to the shop, which had been damaged by the invasion. Even with all their savings, they just didn't make enough to pay the cost; and that was with the discount all various construction companies were giving them in light of their circumstances.

She hated this feeling, of being caged by soul crushing debt. She'd started working all over town to cover the cost of living, and was still barely scraping by. Most of the work she could get was late at night, so she always got home late. This was especially bad because it meant she often had to walk the dark streets of Konoha, which over the course of a year had become steadily more and more unsafe.

But Ayame wasn't worrying much about her safety at the moment. If she and her father (who had also taken a second job) were forced out into the street, safety wasn't going to be the only problem. Oh how she'd give anything for something to go her way…

And a moment after she had that thought, the universe answered her.

From down the street and around the corner, the sound of breaking glass echoed through the dark, startling Ayame out of her thoughts. Curiosity getting the better of her, Ayame carefully made her way forward. Peaking around the corner, she caught sight of several hooded figures making off with fists full of cash and jewels from one of Konoha's smaller jewelry stores. Other then the sound of their footsteps, Ayame noticed the store wasn't making any noise. How they hell had they managed to not set off a security alarm? By the look of them, they weren't ninjas, because they hadn't hopped up towards the rooftops, and none of them seemed to be using any of the basic ninja tools… how were civilians this good?

She made sure to stay hidden until they had left before coming out of the shadows. As she stepped forward, she planned on just making her way home as quickly as possible, and forget the whole thing. And that might have been what happened… if not for a tiny glimmer. A glimmer of faint light that came from the moon that hung low in the sky, and bounced off a… what was that?

Ayame cautiously made her way forward, a little voice in the back of her head telling her to be a bit adventurous for once. Picking it up, she saw that the thieves hadn't been entirely careful. They had managed to leave behind two things: A pearl necklace, and a small diamond. But it wasn't just any diamond; it had a small imperfection running through it that actually made it more valuable. It had even earned the name 'Cat's Eye Diamond'.

Ayame couldn't believe her luck! These two things could be worth thousands alone! If she sold these, then she could pay off her and her father's debts, fix their store and…

No… what was she thinking? Stealing? That wasn't her! That wasn't how she was raised! Taking something that didn't belong to her was wrong! She knew that! Kami, what would Naruto have said if he'd seen her thinking like this…

But Naruto wasn't here now, was he? He was dead, thanks to these bastard villagers! They had taken him from her… so why shouldn't she return the favor? Of course a couple of jewels couldn't never equal the boy that was like a brother to her. But it was a start.

As Ayame calmly walked home, pearls and diamond stashed in her pocket, an idea began to form… There were so many people who had **so much**, too much, some might argue. So much that, really, they might not miss a few precious items here or there, that she could use to make a better life for herself… and her father. And if they did miss them? Well… then she supposed they would learn the lesson Naruto's death had taught her a year ago:

Life isn't fair.

_-Cat and The Claw-_

**Two Years Later: **

Sasuke sighed, sipping his sake. It was that time again; when all the remaining 'Konoha 11' gathered together to swap stories and catch up. It had become a tradition ever since Naruto had died three years ago. In that time, they'd all managed to become Chunin, which forced them to spend less time together due to the missions they went on.

Glancing around at the interior of the building, Sasuke had to admit he was glad the Ichiraku building was still around. It was one of the few things that reminded him of Naruto that had held up. According to Ayame, the insurance they'd gotten, along with a check written by Jiraiya as acting Hokage had been enough to revamp the restaurant. Apparently, that was one of the last things he had done as acting Hokage before turning power over the Slug Sannin Tsunade.

It was larger now, and sold a wider variety of food (though they still insisted that their specialty was, first and foremost, their ramen). It had a small stream of business, but it was never as full as some of the other restaurants. Apparently some villagers had never gotten over the fact that they didn't hate Naruto as much as the others thought they should have. And for that, Sasuke was grateful. These people had taken care of Naruto, when no one else would. He swore that as long as he lived, this place would never go out of business.

"It just doesn't make any sense! How have they not caught them yet?" Kiba complained, running a hand through his hair. From outside, Akamaru barked in agreement. Sadly, the dog had grown to large to fit in most buildings anymore. Kiba had grown a lot since Naruto's death, most especially in his role as future leader of the Inuzuka clan. Right now he was training for a future as a hunter-nin, and had volunteered for the village police force as a way to prepare for a career in hunting down criminals. This was good for the village police force, because the crime rate had soared recently. Apparently the civilian sector had been experiencing a string of robberies, and there had been no luck in catching whoever was responsible.

Shino just shook his head at his friends outburst. The Aburame hadn't changed much… probably. Honestly it was hard to tell, given that he had taken to wearing an even bulkier trench coat. Out of all of them (besides Neji), he had advanced the farthest, and completed the most missions. There was talk about him taking the Jounin exams in a couple of years, but Sasuke didn't think it would happen. Over the last few months, Shino seemed to have discovered a passion for science, and had taken to devoting most of his time to it. The last Uchiha didn't quite understand what he was working on, but he was sure the quiet boy would tell them when he was ready.

"Ah, don't worry Kiba! I'm sure you'll be the one to catch those thieves!" Ino said, batting her eyes at him, making him blush. Sasuke rolled his eyes. Ino hadn't changed much, save her outfit. While she had trained a bit more in her mind techniques, she still put more effort in flirting then in real ninja work. Thankfully (at least to Sasuke), she'd given up on the Last Uchiha, and set her sights on what she felt was a more attainable goal: Kiba Inuzuka. She was always trying to find excuses for him to cover over to the flower shop and help her… 'sow some seeds'.

Choji just chuckled at his former teammates antics while shoveling another bowl of Ramen into his face. Shikamaru just shook his head and muttered 'troublesome' under his breath before turning back to his notebook.

Choji Akimichi had only gotten bigger as time went on, only now it seemed it was more muscle then fat. He'd taken to wearing a copy of his father's armor on missions, though he wasn't wearing it now. Oddly, he seemed to have no great goals or aspirations like some of the others. He was content to just be him, and live from one day to the next. Sasuke wondered what it would take to motivate him…

Shikamaru, physically, had barely changed at all. Mentally… well, Sasuke got the feeling that the Nara only showed a fraction of his intellect around them. But one only needed to look in his notebook to see that what they saw was barely scratching the surface. The book was filled with mathematical equations and various scenarios that seemed so preposterous Sasuke was almost convinced it was a joke when he'd first seen it. Some of the traps Shika had designed seemed especially far fetched… but maybe that was because he couldn't really understand the code that all the notes were written in. Shikamaru was quickly making a name for himself in the field as a bit of trap master, so he must be doing something right.

"Yosh! She is right my friend, you must not despair! You shall catch your most unyouthful opponent! If I am wrong, I shall jog to Iwa and back on my fingers with boulders strapped to my feet while I-" Rock Lee's exuberant challenge was cut off by a smack to the back of the head by Tenten and Neji. That didn't seem to dampen his spirits though, as he just chuckled and took a swig of his drink. Due to his inability to handle alcohol, Lee tended to only drink tea or soda. Today, he'd settled on a nice jasmine tea.

Not much had changed about Tenten and Neji. Neji had joined the interrogation unit, and Tenten now spent more time fashioning new weapons. Apparently she did good work (not that anyone here would doubt it), because she made a comfortable living off the weapons sales alone.

As for the last two members of their little band; Sakura and Hinata… Sasuke sighed. Neither had been the same after Naruto's death. Sakura, who had actually watched her teammate die, had gone through of long phase of self destructive behavior, feeling useless for having been unable to do anything useful for her blonde friend. Hinata, who had never been able to confess her feelings to Naruto, had retreated inwards, and was only just recently beginning to get over it. Both of them owed their recoveries to heavy doses of therapy; some of which was still going on to this day.

As for himself, well… he liked to think of himself as a relatively well adjusted individual; despite his new eccentricities. After all, letting off stress was healthy; and if some good came out of it, well more's the better….

And if it made the village as Naruto would have wanted it; how could he complain?

_-Cat and The Claw-_

Ayame only moved when she heard the sound of her father's snores. Locking her door, she went to her closet. Under a false bottom, a box held her suit. It was solid black, and very form fitting, showing off all the curves that were generally hidden beneath her chef's outfit. Slipping it on, Ayame felt something brush against her leg.

"Hello, little one. Hungry are you?" she said affectionately, looking down at the solid black tabby cat. The little cat, which she had named Kage, mewed in answer. Giggling, Ayame quickly fed him. She had adopted the cat shortly after her first major B&E had gone… badly…

_FLASHBACK: _

_Ayame crouched low in the shadows. She was wearing all black, and doing her best to not stick out. Sadly, with no ninja training, this was harder then it seemed. But she would do her best… she could not afford to get caught! _

_Right now her father probably thought she was out with friends, at a club somewhere… doing something fun people her age were supposed to do. But she couldn't… she had work to do. _

_Ever since the night of the jewelry store robbery, Ayame had been training herself. She had secretly bought various locks and learned to pick them. She had read up on various security systems employed by some of the wealthier citizens (though she knew she was far off from trying to rob them). She also read various detective and forensic books, where she learned to how to leave no trace of herself behind. _

_Now, it was time to see if all that studying paid off. This was her first major break in. At this point though, she was no stranger to stealing. She'd found, through trial and error, various ways to pick the pockets of those she came in close contact with. It was hard at first, and she made sure to only ever target civilians. That way, if they somehow caught on, she had an easier time of outrunning or fighting them. _

_That had been the only thing she hadn't practiced as much. She was still rather weak physically, and wouldn't be able to fight off a strong willed man, and never a ninja. Hopefully though, if she was stealthy enough, that wouldn't be an issue… _

_She should have known better then to hope. _

_As she stood before the window that would lead to her target's kitchen, she contemplated how she should go about breaking in. Sadly, she never got that far, as a heavy hand landed on her shoulder. _

_Before she could react she was spun around and pushed into a dark alley. Tripping, she landed on the ground, and turned to see a large, heavyset man with beady eyes baring down on her. _

_"Well, well, well" he said slowly, slurring slightly "What's a pretty young thang like you doing out so late at night?" he asked, grabbing hold of her wrist when she tried to run. He may have been a little drunk, but it was clear he knew what he was doing. _

_"No… please" Ayame whispered. All she could feel right now was fear at what was about to happen. She had been prepared to break into a building, and maybe deal with the old man she knew lived here, but she had never considered the possibility that something like this would happen! _

_She was forced to the ground, and she groped desperately for a weapon of some kind. She thought she felt something, but the man grabbed hold of her hand and forced it down. No… this couldn't be happening… please Kami, if there was something that could help her… please! _

_*Merrooowww* a long low cat cry sounded not far from them. It echoed in the alley silence, desperate and hungry. A box crashed to the ground, and the sound of scampering was heard. _

_The drunk man blinked at the sudden noise, his grip loosening slightly. "What the hell was that?" he asked dumbly. _

_It was all Ayame needed. She freed her hand, and grabbed the object she'd felt earlier. It was a broken bottle, and when she slashed the man across the face with it, he recoiled in pain. _

_"Ah! You stupid bitch! I'll kill you!" he said, hand pressed against his face to stop the bleeding. He moved forward as if to attack again, but Ayame stabbed him in the gut with the bottle. She didn't know how effective that would be, so she quickly got up and booked it out of there. She ran back to her home where it was safe, climbed in through her bedroom window (as her father was asleep and she didn't want to wake him) and covered herself with the blankets. _

_She didn't plan on leaving her room for a long time. She was scared, and tired, and angry… and relieved that the man hadn't managed to do anything to her. She silently thanked Kami for that, and for the cat that had distracted her would-be assaulter. _

_FLASHBACK END: _

When she'd returned that night, she'd cried with fear. She couldn't believe how close she'd come to being… she shuddered. She looked down at Kage. In the midst of the feverish dreams that had followed the incident, she had heard a clawing at her window, followed by a mewling sound that she recognized instantly. It was him, the little cat who had inadvertently saved her. He had followed her home… and Ayame had been taking care of him ever since.

Another thing she'd done ever since that night was start training her body to make sure it never happened again. She'd started out taking a few defense classes, but had moved on to civilian martial arts (which she paid for with a mixture of her stolen cash and cash she actually earned). She doubted she could beat a ninja in a fight, but she was certain that she would kick the ass out of some drunk in an alley. But she didn't just want to fight. She also wanted the option to run away. She realized that if she was going to go through with her plan of robbing people blind (and she'd come to far to stop now, not that she wanted to), there may come a time when she'd need to escape from multiple people.

So she had studied gymnastics, and the art of escaping bindings. She still wasn't as good at that first one yet, but she could now safely say she could escape a binding as well as most green genin (which didn't sound like much, but to a civilian would be quite impressive). She could also scale most buildings with the help of her secretly most prized possession:

She'd paid a blacksmith a small fortune to have them made confidentially. She paid extra to make sure he never saw her face. He wasn't a ninja, but he'd dealt with enough to know they were eccentric. She'd left him thinking she was just some rather bizarre shinobi that wanted a new secret weapon. Certainly not something he'd care about, and the money was good all the same, so she had his silence.

What she'd had made was, in retrospect, almost simple: It was a set of gloves, colored to match the rest of her outfit. However, by flexing her fingers a certain way (in such a way that it couldn't be done accidentally) a set of razor sharp claws would pop out from the fingers. They were sharp enough to rend flesh from bone, and sturdy enough to let her hoist herself up buildings if she needed to. They were also an excellent way of cutting through glass to enter through windows… oh, that was gonna be a fun night!

Ayame finished suiting up and packed the last of her tools in the belt around her waist. Finally, to hide her face, she put on what was basically a modified cat mask. She remembered wearing it on a halloween so long ago; Naruto had said she looked cute in it, and blushed the cutest shade of pink… Naruto… What would he think of her now? Would he be ashamed of her? Angry? Kami how she missed him…

Ayame's face hardened. She'd never receive answers to those questions, so there was no point in worry about it. Time to go to work.

_-Cat and The Claw-_

Sasuke looked out over the street from the rooftop, stopping to adjust his mask. He had to make sure his identity remained a secret; he could allow no one to know who he was. For what he was going to do, he knew that a great deal of the people would hate him and fear him, but just as many would love him. While he didn't care much about the former, it was the latter he wanted to avoid.

'Sasuke Uchiha, Crime Fighter' oh the Uchiha lovers would have a field day with that. And that was something he didn't want. The whole point of this was to be a symbol; a symbol of hope for the people who were being trampled by the evil and the corrupt. Sasuke Uchiha could not be that symbol… at least not in the way that he should, but this mask could be.

Why was he doing this? Why was he spending his time and money to fight criminals by himself as a vigilante? The answer should be obvious: Naruto.

The Slug Sannin Tsunade had called them into the Hokage's office to speak to the Konoha 11 at dawn six days ago. She had initially refused to take the position of Hokage, but decided to hold onto the seat, lest her sensei's rival Danzo take over the position.

She told them that in a week's time she was going to make an announcement that she promised would shake Konoha to its very core. An announcement about Naruto. And she thought that, as his friends, they deserved to hear it first hand.

A jinchuriki… that was what Naruto was. He had been the vessel for the Kyubi that had attacked the village so long ago, holding its power and soul within him, and taking it to the afterlife with his death. That was the reason so many people hated Naruto; because they were foolish enough to believe that having the Kyubi in him was enough to make him the demon itself.

To say that they were shocked was an understatement. When they learned that most of their parents knew about this (as did everyone of the older generations), and that most of them had never tried to help Naruto, they got mad.

Shino was mad at his family; because as a group that had a creature inside them, that they allowed such a logical fallacy to last in their minds was infuriating.

Shikamaru was ashamed that the Naras, wise as they were, couldn't be bothered to apply their brain power to such a simple problem.

And Sakura… just cried. Because she knew that she had allowed her mother to influence her views on her blond haired teammate, and that was part of why she had treated him so harshly.

When they had all calmed down slightly, Tsunade dropped the other bombshell: Naruto was the son of the Fourth Hokage.

The Fourth Hokage! Greatest Kage to ever live and hero of the last war Hokage? The one who was directly responsible for defeating the Kyubi in the first place? Yeah, that Fourth Hokage.

Oh, and his dying wish after sealing the Kyubi in his son? That he be seen as a hero by everyone in the village.

Sasuke had to keep himself from growling at the thought. The village was more then willing to hail the man as a hero, but lacked the faith in him to honor his last wish? What sense did that make? Were the people of this town just insane?

There was something seriously wrong with this village… something that needed to be corrected. This was Sasuke's way of doing just that. He would clean up the streets, and try his best to make this village into that which he knew his friend held so dearly. And he intended to do so in such a way that he could never directly receive credit for it; just as Naruto has never received praise for holding back the Kyubi. And while some may hold his masked persona (he really needed to think of some sort of code name for it too) in high regard, they would only be idolizing a symbol. And unlike a man… a symbol could not be destroyed so easily.

That was what brought him out here this evening. He figured the best way to clean up the city would be to start at the bottom and work his way up. But that was easier said then done. It was one thing to say you were going out to fight crime, but another to actually find crime to stop. He'd been at this for a couple of days now, and nothing. He'd even traveled to the civilian sector, hoping he might find SOMETHING… but so far he'd just been-

Wait…

Was that…?

It was!

Either Sasuke was incredibly lucky, or some force beyond him was setting this up (maybe Naruto pranking him from beyond the grave) because Sasuke was certain that one of the most wanted thieves in the Civilian Sector was merely a rooftop away!

_-Cat and The Claw-_

**A little earlier: **

She was in the building in five seconds, the lock on the backdoor proving no more a barrier then the fence she'd vaulted over. Once inside, she turned on the pair of moderately expensive night-vision goggles she'd bought a surplus store (another toy purchased with her new income) and removed one of the bags from her belt and opened it.

These bags had also cost a pretty penny. They had seals all along the inside, so that anything dropped inside it was sealed away inside the bag's seal matrix. But because she was a civilian, and thus couldn't use chakra to activate or deactivate the seals, she had to buy them with time-releases. The moment she opened the bag, the seal started, with enough chakra to keep whatever she put in sealed for ten hours. After that, the chakra in the matrix would run out, and everything she put in would be released.

But for now, she had more then enough time, and began to shovel anything that wasn't nailed down into the bag. She stole silverware and nicknacks to start, then snuck into the wife's bedroom for the jewelry. It was on her way to the husband's room that she ran into some problems.

She'd just grabbed her latest prize when she heard footsteps behind her. She knew it was inevitable, and that her luck at robbing people with little interaction with the occupants couldn't last. The more she stole, the more alert the remaining citizens would be.

But really, trying to sneak up on her? Spinning on her heel she threw a kick that struck her stalker in the gut. It was a young man, likely the owner's son. The man doubled over, allowing Ayame a chance to snatch a small statuette from a shelf and bludgeon him in the side of the head with it. The man went down, annoyingly crashing into a coffee table as he did.

"What was that?" she heard a woman cry from the wife's bedroom. Great, just what she needed. Time to make her escape.

As she ran for the window that would be her exit, an older man shuffled out of the dark, brandishing a cane in her direction. Normally Ayame would have just pushed past him, but in the light of the moon she recognized him: He was a wealthy banker; one who had turned her and her father down for a loan due to their association with 'undesirables.' By which he, of course, meant Naruto.

With deft swiftness she snatched the cane from his hand; and swept his legs out from under him. As he hit the ground, she hit him with the cane once in the back, before tossing the cane at the rising son.

Turning away from the groaning shapes on the ground, she quickly hopped out the window; scaled the wall to the roof, and took off.

_-Cat and The Claw-_

Ayame leapt to another roof, booking it as fast as she could to put as much distance as possible between herself and her latest prey. She was only a few blocks from home when she heard someone land beside her "Bit late for an evening stroll isn't it?" a deep, slightly gruff voice asked.

Ayame jumped away, and examined the man just as he examined her. He wore body armor typical of a ninja, colored an even darker black then usual. But instead of a traditional animal mask, his face was concealed what looked like a modified ski mask, which only revealed his mouth and chin. Ayame's brow furrowed; figuring that while this guy may be some kind of ninja, he clearly wasn't on a mission to catch her. If he was, he wouldn't have stopped to introduce himself.

Meanwhile, Sasuke took in the tall lean woman before him. She was wearing a skintight jumpsuit that was colored a series of grays and blacks, no doubt for her to better blend in with the darkness and shadows. Her face was covered by a makeshift mask which also covered her hair, with her eyes covered by a set of goggles that glowed slightly in the moonlight.

Ayame finally broke the silence "Well, who exactly are you supposed to be?" she asked.

Sasuke frowned "I'll ask the questions here." he said, using his training to make his voice lower and gruffer "For starters, what's in the bag?" he asked, gesturing to the sack clutched in the woman's hand.

Ayame looked down at it "Oh this? Well, it's just-" she cut off and turned the other way to run. Ayame was a lot of things, but stupid wasn't one of them. She knew that while she could take down civilians in the dark with relative ease, fighting a full-blown ninja without the element of surprise and winning was just not going to happen.

She didn't make it to the end of the roof before he reappeared in front of her, making her swing her bag of loot in reflex. He ducked under it and socked her in the stomach, making her gasp in pain.

She dropped her bag and jerked up with her knee, only for him to catch it and push her off balance. He then swept her legs out from under her, making her land on her bum.

"Let's end this before you get hurt." he said, and Ayame knew he was fighting to keep the smug from his voice "Just surrender yourself, and you won't make this any worse." he reached down, likely hoping to take her into custody. But Ayame wasn't done yet.

Lashing out at him when he was too close to dodge, she smashed her foot right into his kiwis, making him squeak in pain. Then, fueled by rage she lashed out with her cat-claws, catching the side of his mask; and though she didn't draw blood (apparently it was made of some sturdy stuff), she did twist it slightly to obscure her vision.

As Sasuke struggled to not vomit while simultaneously fixing his mask, Ayame grabbed her bag and punched him in the back of the head before fleeing.

Sasuke finally righted his mask and was about to peruse, when he saw several shadows making their way across the roof towards him. He knew he was in trouble when words like 'halt thief' and 'there's the criminal' made themselves heard. They seemed to be under the impression that **HE **was the thief they'd been looking for, or at the very least an accomplice.

Damn, this was not how he had foreseen this night going. Looks like catching the cat burglar would have to wait, right now he needed to make sure he wasn't the one to spend the night in jail.

_-Cat and The Claw-_

Ayame slipped into her room as quietly as possible. She'd heard the shouts and seen the ninjas flickering across the roof. Her heart had nearly burst from her chest, thinking that the game was up. When she had seen them pass her by, she nearly fainted with relief.

This just might be proof that this was too dangerous; that maybe now was the time to retire. Surely she had more then enough to live on; did she really need to keep stealing from people? Tonight had been her riskiest venture yet: the man was the uncle to a councilman, for goodness sakes!

Yes, maybe it was time to hang up the tights Ayame thought, laying on her bed with her hand finding the soft belly of her cat…

And yet…

She couldn't stop. Not now, maybe not ever! Ayame's face broke out into a grin. The experience, the thrill of the hunt, the fear that she might be caught… it was all so exhilarating! So liberating!

And why should she stop? There were still so many people who deserved what they had coming; just like tonight! These… people, and she hesitated to even call them that, sat around with their piles of wealth, and what did they do with it? Nothing! Nothing to help ease the suffering of those around them; people like her father and her; people like Naruto. All they ever helped was themselves. They deserved to be left broke and penniless!

Ayame approached the window, a grin widening across her face, the moonlight reflecting in her eyes giving them an almost cat-like glow. Yes, Ayame thought, looking up at the rooftops where only moments ago she had prowled, she would not stop. She'd do it for Naruto, for herself, for justice; she do it because it was just too much fun to stop.

But no matter what, she would never allow herself to be caged again. Not by society, not by those of higher social standing, and not by some weirdo in a black mask. Come what may, the night was hers! And she'd do whatever she damn well pleased!

**End Chapter 2**

**Well there you have it folks! The role of the lovely Selina Kyle will be played by none other then Ayame Ichiraku. I hope I was able to get the characterization right, it turned out to be harder then I expected.  
**

**Now, some of you may ask: 'Why her? Why not Sakura, Hinata, Tenten, Temari, etc. etc.'  
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**The answer for that is I already have roles planned for them; and I wanted Catwoman to be someone with no extraordinary powers, just like in the comic.  
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**We also got to see Sasuke start to develop his role as Batman, but as we can see, he's not there just yet. That's okay, we'll see him develop as he acts as a foil to our various villains.  
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**Which brings me to my next point: Who do YOU! want to see next? I already have my villain for Chapter 3 picked out, but I'm gonna let you guys suggest who should come next; within reason. What I mean by that is, below you will find four names. I would like you to order then in the order you would like to see them appear. Those names are:  
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**Scarecrow  
Killer Croc  
Bane  
Firefly  
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**I will then take that into consideration when writing the next chapters. Now, I'm not gonna tell you who to vote for (But you should TOTALLY PICK SCARECROW TO COME FIRST!), and you can even suggest who you think would be the best to play the roles I've just mentioned (SERIOUSLY, PICK SCARECROW! DO IT!) in a review. **

**Of course, sometimes I won't suggest Batman Villains; instead I may suggest Naruto characters. If I were, what Naruto character would you most want to see put on a costume, hero or villain?  
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**That work for everyone?  
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******So what did you think? If you liked it, please say so in a review. If you didn't please feel free to offer some constructive criticism, but please don't flame.**

**********Next Time:**

**Chapter 3: The Clayface of Tragedy  
**

******_Until Next Time... _**


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